Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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