I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
