good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
