How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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