Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
