alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
