I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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