I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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