I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
