Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
