someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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