stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
