By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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