my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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