I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
