whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize