I like to think it a success when the cops are called
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
