Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize