my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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