so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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