yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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