i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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