i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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