everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He kissed a someone with a penis
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
