Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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