I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
