so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
