That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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