no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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