Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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