Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
