ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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