In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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