i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
