I am in a vortex of obligation.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need water and some morals
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
