the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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