You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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