STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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