The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
