You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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