I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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