I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
