sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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