If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
