do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
