I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
