This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Alive.
So much puke
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize