How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
