Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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