I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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