if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Princesses don't give blow jobs
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize