I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
