I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
