Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think your dad took our porno
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
