You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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