good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
