Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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