2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
